I’m so deceived. I get stressed, sad, and angry when I “don’t have enough money.” I am unsatisfied with not having more money than I do. It’s almost like my trust in God depends on if I’m secure financially. Should money really arouse these emotions of stress, sadness, and anger? What is money really worth? What am I really worth? Am I worth how much my computer costs, how much I can spend on a meal, or how much the date with my girlfriend cost me? When I’m doing well financially (at least “well” for a college student) I am so satisfied with how much God has “blessed” me. But, when I’m on a day to day basis with money, I am asking for Him to “bless” me more.
Don’t get me wrong, God absolutely blesses people with money every day, and He is so willing to do so. What I’m saying is that I only feel blessed when I have that money, or when my friends love me, or when things at school and work are going great. When I begin to define when I am blessed, I begin to define how much God is worth to me. “God, I only love you when my life is awesome. I wish you would “bless” me more.”
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.
“Count it ALL joy,” not just some of it, or the good parts, or the easy parts, but ALL of it.
I have given everything in my life some sort of worth. What is this friend worth to my life, what is that friend worth? What is my entertainment worth? What is my pleasure worth, what is my time worth? I have started giving more and more worth to each of these things that all have a central focus; my happiness. I hardly ever stop to think, what is God’s love worth to me? Is it worth laying my own pleasure and entertainment down each day? What are God’s gifts of life and breath worth to me? Are they worth praising Him every second that I have them?
I pray, Lord, that You would show me how much You should be worth to me. I pray that You would show me how to praise You even when I don’t feel “blessed.” And I pray that You would give me the courage to put aside all desires for more money, more pleasure, and more entertainment, and simply trust in You to provide.